May 7, 2008

Trying not to let it get me down

I wish so much that I could have a nice, easy pregnancy that I enjoy. I'm trying to hard to not let it get me down but it's not an easy thing to do. Lately I've been having problems with headaches. I've been getting them everyday, right at about 12 noon and they last the entire day. The only relief I get is from the time I wake up til noon. It's so frustrating and I just want to lay in bed all day. I feel bad for Marah because she's been so bored. She hates when I lay down and now I try to put the tv on for her and go to my bed but she runs back to my room and cries when she sees me, shouting "Mommy, you not tired!" Well that makes me feel so guilty. When I was just sick to my stomach I would just try to push through it and get up and lay on the couch at least so I was near her, now I can't even do that. I don't want to deal with any of it. I hope this doesn't last much longer.

Anyway, needless to say yesterday was a do nothing day. Well, I did do dishes and laundry cause that is my bare minimum I've decided. I've been doing pretty well with that. Those are two things that need to be done every day. Oh, I also made french toast which was really good and which took all my energy. I swear I just feel so pathetic sometimes. I know it's the pregnancy, I know there's not a whole lot I can do except try to eat decent food and not stress over it. That's pretty much what I'm doing. I try to eat well, I've definitely been doing really good with eating more vegetables. I have never been a veggie person. I've pretty much hated them my whole life, but now I've grown to love many kinds provided I cook it right. Basically I've learned that steaming or stirfrying them with a bit of garlic salt, pepper and olive oil and sometimes a bit of lemon, I can eat them with no problem. So now I can eat without complaint asparagus, snap peas, corn, broccoli, and carrots. I'm still not a fan of green beans although I do like them fried with bacon and onion but I think that maybe defeats the purpose of eating it in the first place ;)

Yesterday Jenna told me that she has to wear red, white and blue to school because apparently it's Patriot Pride day and they're having an end of the year assembly (yes, my baby is about to be a third grader!). So I was trying to think of what she could wear but she apparently already had it all planned out. I tried to convince her that she doesn't have to wear all three colors if we can't find something but she insisted. I think she would have worn a clown costume if that were the only thing that had red, white and blue in the house! Luckily the costume wasn't needed and she managed to pull together a pretty decent outfit. I had some left over ribbon from an album I made her recently so I cut some up and tied it in her hair. She was very proud. I think it's so cute that she is really into these special things at school. I always thought she'd be too shy to wear pajamas to school or participate in crazy hair day, but she is so insistent on being a part of it. Of course, I have been bad and haven't taken any pictures of these things and so finally this morning I remembered to pull out the camera and take a couple pictures. I want to do a page about it in the scrapbook... about her school spirit. I guess I'll just have to elaborate on the other stuff with words instead of pictures. But here she is this morning looking adorable:

For those that don't know, Marah is still using a pacifier. Most of the time this does not bother me at all. She has become very fearful in the last couple of months and I know that having the pacifier comforts her. I've read a lot of stuff about pacifiers and I feel confident in the fact that having one while she sleeps is not going to be detrimental to her development. She is not allowed to have one during the day, with the exception of naptime, and while she sometimes finds one and sneaks it, she mostly does well with this rule. Anyway, like I said, most of the time this does not bother me at all (Eric is another story) except for times like now where she looks like this:

Yeah, gross. Those sores are from her pacifier. I think she is probably drooling while she sleeps and then is irritating her skin when she sucks the pacifier. It's disgusting and I hate that she has these sores. This prompted me to tell her no more pacifiers. So that night I put her in bed without one and it took her about 3 hours to fall asleep but she did fall asleep and all was well. Until about 2 am when I awake to blood curdling screaming and find Marah in her bed with a look of terror and of course I felt so bad for her. She kept saying how she was so scared and I tried to calm her down but I had never dealt with that level of fear in her before. So I offered the pacifier and she was fine after that. Well, I decided maybe she isn't ready to give it up. I'm not gonna push it on her. It's okay if she still uses it. The only frustrating thing is those sores! And she keeps picking at them so they won't heal. I'm trying to use neosporin so we'll see, but if she keeps picking I don't know what I'm gonna do!

Okay, I better get going. Oh and mom, don't forget this baby is coming in September and will need warm stuff so don't buy anything too summery if dad gives in :)

Have a lovely day!


  1. Um, what the heck is this post?

    OK, I have a new post. But it's sad.

  2. OK, now that you actually posted something my previous comment seems odd.

    Ash, I know you don't want to hear this, but you aren't doing Marah any favors letting her keep the pacifier. It's time to break of her of it. I know it's hard, but you really do need to do it. I know that you will be able to find articles that say it's okay, but it's really not in her best interest in the long run. That's all I'm going to say about it. I know you're a good mom and will do what you think is best, so I'll drop it now.

    The pictures of Jenna are so cute! I cannot believe how big she is.

    And, I know your baby is coming in September. I had a really cute little navy blue and white sweater and overalls picked out. Don't worry, I'll get cute warm stuff.

    Love you!

  3. Girl, I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well!! If it makes you feel any better, you are cookin' one cute baby, because Jenna looks a-freaking-dorable in those pics. Marah does, too, sores and all. :)

  4. You girls are beautiful and I love you! - Papa

    Hang in there Ashley, love you! - Dad

  5. I don't know how you women do it. Hang in there. I love the pictures of Jenna! Those are beautiful.

    As for the pacifier, don't listen to your mom. I still use a pacifier from time to time and it hasn't affected me at all. I don't take it to work, but around the house, it's no big deal.

  6. ashley, i have a friend whose son LOVED paci's. he always had to have one in each hand. seriously, he was obsessed. one day she decided he needed to be rid of them, so when he wasn't looking, she snagged them and cut the rubber part. she showed him that they were broken and told him he needed to throw them away. He did, and never asked for paci's again. it might be worth trying! those sores don't look too nice :(

    i'm sorry you are feeling so crummy. i wish i could help you out!

    jenna looks too cute! i'm glad you remembered to take pics of her before she left!

  7. hmm... i can't tell if uncle p is joking or not. =z

    [cute pics]


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