Yesterday I posted this to Facebook:
Sometimes memories pop into my head and they seem like dreams. And I'm not even talking about from early childhood, this is mostly stuff from high school and early adulthood. Anyone else?
I always have been a little worried that my life was either all someone else's dream and they're going to wake up and it will all be over or that my dreams are real life and what I think is real life is actually a dream. LOL
It got me to thinking about how much of my past is just... gone. I mean, really, unless some hypno-therapist is able to help me recall lost memories, a lot of my life is gone. And maybe I'm being completely narcissistic, but that just seems like a waste to me. Regardless of whether or not my kids will one day want to read my stories, I have the need to write them down. The real, desperate need to cling to what's left in my mind and to not disappear completely when I die. It's weird, I know, but I think it might help some of the anxiety I feel over dying.
There's this internet trend right now called "Throwback Thursday" where people post old photos for the good of the population, reminding us all that we were once young and had no fashion sense. Or maybe more fashion sense. I guess it depends on who's posting. I've never had fashion sense. Well, I have fashion sense in that I know what it looks like, I just have problems making the vision into a reality for my body type and small budget!
Anyway, I'm going to suggest a new trend for Throwback Thursday. Let's write a story. Even if it's short. Even if your memory only allows you to recall two sentences worth, make those two sentences count. And so, because this memory randomly popped into my mind (as it seems to do every so often), inspiring my Facebook post about dreams- here is the story of my trip to Reno. This memory is so faded, I can barely recall it and it's very possible that I have many details completely wrong or mixed up. However, I'm just going to throw the words onto the page and let them stick where they may. It's more important that I write out what I remember than to let the lack of details make me decide that the story isn't worth telling.
(Note: I have never told the details of this story to my parents. So this should be a nice read for them)
Because all our best ideas happen when we are 16, my best friend, Stephanie, and I, realized that it was a great time to pack up her powder blue Honda Civic Hatchback and head to Reno, Nevada, for a ski trip. Here is what I remember from that trip:
* Stephanie chose to snowboard instead of ski. I was a little disappointed because I had never been skiing before and I actually took to it pretty well, which was great but because Stephanie had never been snowboarding and didn't take to it very well, it meant that I was able to make it down the slope way before her and I can't remember if I just ended up riding back up by myself or if I waited for her. I really don't remember. I just remember that she was VERY sore the next day!
* Skiing was sooo much fun! I have pretty good balance and have taken well to roller blading, ice skating, and skiing. I had no winter gear and loaded up on layers which I find funny now because it probably wasn't even that cold and if I went today I would likely wear much less.
* We spent considerable amounts of time in the casinos. At 16. Claiming that we forgot our IDs in our hotel rooms. Over and over. And over. We accomplished this by wearing lots of makeup. HAHA! Or so we thought.
* We played slot machines in several different casinos and were offered drinks by cocktail waitresses. I don't recall ever ordering alcohol (too scared) but I know I got a lot of free coca-cola.
* We met a guy in a casino. I think it was the Silverado. We hung out with him for awhile and then he asked for a ride home. In the middle of nowhere. It was awkward. Especially when he revealed that he was a racist asshole who "didn't want to make no Oreo babies."
* We also met a guy (or two?) on the slopes. I think we hung out with them later around town but I don't remember for sure. They were both more interested in Stephanie (that was the story of my teenage life).
* The most important part of this memory for me is that I had so much fun! It was a time in my life where I just wanted to be away from home and start to explore new freedoms and be more independent. I didn't feel like a kid anymore. I felt like a young adult on an adventure! It was beautiful and fun and scary and amazing.
Thanks for the memories, Stephanie! :) I love you!