Nature Party

Nature Party

explosion of glitter
gently dancing
adorning bare branches
blanketing the earth
icy
sparkly
feathery diamonds
this is winter
full of wonder
spilling out surprise
the stuff of dreams

February 17-23 Review

current time: 3:26 p.m.

in my belly: a bunch of baby ;) I've got cinnamon rolls coming my way in a few minutes though.
in my ears:  Oh. What's a Girl to Do? by Annie Bethancourt  (check her out, very cute)

out the window:  thick blankets of snow and bare trees, a few dried leaves that didn't want to let go.

in the works:  hopefully more blogging, also several silhouette orders I'm finishing up

watching now: This week Eric and I started up Arrested Development for the fourth or fifth time. We watch it in the bedroom after the kids are in bed and catch new hidden jokes every time through. We love that show. Also enjoying the new seasons of Spartacus and Portlandia as well as the second half of The Walking Dead. It's getting good again!

by my bedside:  humidifier, tissues, water bottles, all that stuff you need when you're sick.

good things:  watching the kids enjoy the snow without worrying that they're going to get hit by a car, Eric getting a new job, feeling hope for the first time in awhile, Alex telling me he likes my butt, Alex wanting to hold me, Jenna helping out with meals and fetching things and dressing Alex when I am in a lot of pain, my in-laws taking the kids to Grand Forks which give me at least a 5 hour break, making smoothies every day so that I can drink up some nutrition, finding blogs that inspire me, discovering new curriculum options that I hadn't known about, visiting Anna, Naomi, and Sam, hearing baby girl's heart beat, visiting Heather, Grace, and Abagale, visiting Elizabeth (was that this week or last week) and seeing how much Shamus has grown, all the hugs and kisses

icky things: the antibiotic I took for an infection led to another infection and a different antibiotic, that same antibiotic also gave me a terrible taste side effect that can last for up to a month afterward, my pelvic pain (which has persisted since about week 9 of this pregnancy) has gotten much worse and walking is becoming a real struggle, this means laundry is not getting done because I have to walk up and down the stairs several times and carry things (need to teach the girls how to do laundry. I've procrastinated and now I'm regretting that), another cold has hit me, wet winter gear everywhere, Eric left for his new job and we can't join him until appropriate housing opens up, missing Eric

the love list:

my amazing brother being recognized for his efforts: here

this list made me LOL: 33 Ways You Know You Were a Youth Group Kid

a post about finding the positive in what is typically perceived as a negative: What Soul Withering Cold-Calling Taught Me About Positivity

this post helped me to envision where I want to be in ten years, and how to get there one baby step at a time: growing a business: choosing

Reliving a part of my childhood with the kids: 80's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle theme song "That's a fact, Jack!"

Take a picture, it'll last longer.

It was quite awhile ago when I said that I was starting to feel better and I would be posting again soon. Oh how things quickly change. I now live on the west coast, am in my 17th week of pregnancy #4, and do not feel much better, to be honest.
I really wasn't feeling like blogging. I've been frustrated because my card reader doesn't work with our laptop and we got rid of our desktop in the move. So I've been unable to upload photos taken with my good camera which means I haven't taken many photos with my good camera which makes me much less likely to blog. Who likes a blog with no pictures?
However, this blog is really supposed to be for me. Well, for me and for my family. A way to record what's been going on so that we don't forget. So although I don't feel at my best right now, I kow it's still important to write things down, even the seemingly mundane.
This photo reminded me of how important that is. You see, I had only been in San Diego for a few days and my parent's boxes of family photos were pretty much screaming my name. Photos are one of my most valued treasures. I settled in with the first box and found photos from my oldest daughters 2nd birthday. A birthday that I have no photos of. I was not only thrilled to see that the day had been captured on film but also felt surprised and confused to see my brother in the photos. I had completely forgotten that he had been there!
My biggest shock came as I flipped to the next series of photos and saw my oldest sitting in the toilet at my parents house. An event that I do not remember at all. Not even after seeing the photos! I was seriously sitting there gawking at these pictures and wondering what the whole scene was about. I thought that maybe my parents had staged the whole thing! Then I saw myself in one of the pictures and I did a total double take. I was so completely confused.
Then I thought about how lucky I was that my parents had recorded these moments. Moments I had completely forgotten. It made me wonder how much of my life has been lost forever. It's a bit scary to me. So I wanted to take a moment to share my experience. Take note of life's little moments. Don't let them simply pass you by. It doesn't take long to take a photo or write something down but if you don't take the time to do it you may end up losing it forever.

Make each day count.

Here, kinda

I've been absent from blogging for quite awhile now and I hate that. Truth is I've just been having a hard time. I've finally decided to start back up on Zoloft for my depression because it has just gotten out of control. I feel no desire to do anything, ever. I don't have any real interest in life at all lately and I've had to force myself to do anything that requires getting out of bed or off the couch. Bed is the worst though. I could really just sleep all day, every day. I hate it so much. I've been feeling like the worst mom in the world. I've been a terrible friend. I am so, so tired of every day being such a struggle.
Last week I had a horrible anxiety attack and was so worked up I could barely breathe. I realized that my depression was out of control again and I knew it was time to talk to my doctor about it. I have been putting it off, knowing I should do it but also being in denial. I had been doing pretty well for quite some time. There was a good two year period where I didn't need the medication. Over the last year and a half though, I have been getting progressively worse.
So I'm hoping that one more week on Zoloft will bring a marked improvement and that I will once again be able to cope with life. It's been one week on the meds so far and I feel no real improvement so hopefully it just needs more time. I hope to be back to enjoying life and blogging about it again real soon.

Pretty Little Things

Well, as you may know, I wear glasses. Yeah, I'm like, a full-time glasses wearer. This still strikes me as a bit odd for a few reasons. I guess mainly because when I was a kid I didn't know many kids who wore glasses. The kids who did wear glasses were considered nerdy. There were no cool glasses back then. They all just sucked ass pretty much and now those same sucky glasses are back in style. It's funny. I mean, really funny.

Here's the thing you might not know about me. I love fashion. I love weird fashion. I love ironic, hipster fashion. I love vintage fashion. I just think clothing and accessories can be so much fun! You wouldn't know it by looking at me most of the time because-- a.) I do not have money to buy stuff that I want to buy. I basically have to live off of cheap t-shirts and hand me down jeans (yes, it's sad, but I'm still wearing hand me downs) and  b.) accessories, well, you can pretty much forget about it! My accessories consist of thick rubber bands to pull my hair up into a messy bun (every. single. day.), a bunch of random jewelry that I inherited from my Grandmere, some bangle and jelly bracelets I got for super cheap clearance, and a few other items that were purchased for me as gifts. I really don't often have the money to buy these types of things for myself. I'm doing good just to keep myself clothed. I'm doing you a big favor there. Trust me.

So I have a love of pretty, fun, colorful things but not many opportunities to express myself in this way. So I was pretty excited when I got the heads up that Coastal Contacts (don't let the name fool you) was offering a free pair of glasses to new customers I was so excited! I ordered my last pair of glasses from one of these inexpensive vision providers and was thrilled with the result. So I'm feeling pretty confident that this company will deliver a great product to me. If you wear glasses and you don't know your prescription info then please call your vision clinic and get the info or make an appointment! I think this offer lasts until April 27th and the code to enter at checkout is FIRSTPAIRFREE.

Here are the frames I ordered:


A cute pair of clear cat eye frames. I've always wanted to try cat eye frames AND I've been wanting to try clear frames, too! Plus, these frames have black arms on the sides and cute little silver heart details at the temple on the front of the frames (a little hard to see in this photo). Perfect for me! :)

I have also been wanting to try some tortoise shell style frames and I like the retro styling of these.

I'm already happy with my black, everyday glasses so if these don't make me happy when I try them on I am really okay with that. I paid $10 altogether for both pairs so it is worth the risk as far as I'm concerned! I'm anxious to get them! I'll be sure to report back with photos and a review.

I'm 15...

When it comes to this guy...

I'm 15. I do believe that Jason Segel must be one of the most adorable, laid back, sweet, and funny guys on the planet. I have a seriously giggly schoolgirl crush on him ♥

If I ever meet him and he wants to fool around I will do so because life is too short to let such opportunities pass us by.

Am I right? :)

I'm still here

I'm still here. Yep, sure am! I've been busy and so many things have been pulling me in so many directions and so, once again, blogging has fallen to the wayside.

Eric and I just returned from a trip to San Diego for my cousin's wedding. A wonderful trip that reminded me of how much I love my family, extending out into cousins and second cousins and cousins-in-law and old family friends and so on. My life is good and the people in my life have brought me so much happiness and beautiful memories. Some days I feel so very far away from all that laughter and joy. Those people bring me joy in a way that's hard to describe. It's not necessarily because they are more funny or amazing than anyone else I know but simply because they have been a meaningful part of my life for so long that when I am near them I just feel like I'm home.

I miss them so.

Oh, and I'm really not much afraid to fly any more. So that's a pretty big deal. :) If only I could rid myself of my anticipatory anxiety I would consider myself completely cured! This abolishing of fear has opened up a vast world of travel limited only by finances and, well, as tough as those may be to come by, I know that it is not impossible and I believe that I will one day do things that I never dreamed possible, like visiting foreign countries and seeing more that this beautiful planet has to offer.

Some things I'd love to see one day...

Paris, France

Scotland

Lake Lucerne, Switzerland

Greece

Venice

and, of course, Japan

Something to discuss

I've been reading some blogs about being a godly wife and all that good stuff and I have found a lot of great tips and advice. Today I was reading about a book called The Good Wife's Guide and this was part of the description of what was in the book:

Here is the type of encouragement you'll find in the book:

• Take a look in the mirror an hour before your husband comes home to ensure that you are presentable. An hour allows ample time to hop into the shower if need be.
• Go light on the perfume, but use great smelling soaps, shampoo, and antiperspirant so he’ll want to snuggle up for the evening.
• If you wear makeup, put a little on before he walks in. Your goal is to look happy and radiant--not done up.
• Dress in feminine clothing. Men are attracted to women, not fashion, so do your best to wear styles, fabrics and colors that remind him you’re a woman and not another one of the guys. Dress as well for him as you would for new friends.
• Have all chores done before he walks in the door, and try to have things like the dishwasher and vacuum turned off.
• Put aside your problems and be cheerful when he walks in the door.
• Make your bed every morning so he has a comfortable place to rest at night or upon returning from work.
• Ensure that the television and stereos are turned off so that the house is peaceful.
• If the kids are excited about something, encourage them to wait about 15 minutes before they share their news.
• Prepare dinner before he arrives. There’s nothing quite like the smell of home cooking when you walk in the door—especially when you’re cooking the food he likes.
• Have the pots and pans washed ahead of time so that the kitchen is every bit as presentable as the meal.
• If you have problems to deal with, wait until after dinner to spring it on him. Husbands are happier when their tummies are full.
• Greet him at the door with open arms, a kiss, and a warm embrace.
• Make an effort to look at him when he is speaking so that he has your full attention.
• Close the computer if you’re on it, and if you’re chatting on the phone try to end the conversation and call her back later.
• Have the children tidy up the front entrance when they arrive from school. Backpacks, jackets and gym bags make for an untidy greeting.
• Do your best to have the house clean and organized at all times. He is working hard outside the home and needs home to be his haven of rest.
• Don’t be angry if he’s working late, instead show appreciation for long hours put in.
• Have the kids wash their faces, and change their clothing if they are soiled from play before Daddy comes home.
• Don’t nag him or try to reshape his bad habits. Work on your own and practice acceptance at all times.
• It is imperative that you defend your husband to your children and that they respect him at all times. Never allow them to grumble or complain about him whether he’s present or not.
• Don’t compare him to other women’s husbands or to your father when it comes to your definition of a man. Love and respect go a lot farther than criticism ever will.

So I'm just curious as to other people's opinion on all of this. Parts of it make sense and seem like good advice but some of it just feels over the top. Do you think this is asking too much of a woman? Or do you think this makes sense and seems fair? Is there anything that makes you cringe or do you think any of it is unnecessary?

Just wondering :)