These are blessed moments. I know I worry too much and I let myself feel overwhelmed often and I know I need to stop doing that. It's human nature of course, but still it does make a person feel inferior and that's what I'm trying to get away from.
Yes, I let the daily tasks overwhelm me to the point of getting absolutely nothing done sometimes. I wonder what's the point. That laundry is just going to be there again tomorrow. Those dishes will start piling up the moment I finish them. But then I remember, this is my job. Yes, my job is a 24/7 job. It does not end at 5 or 6 or 7... it never ends. Even when I'm completely away, I'm never really completely away. A part of myself is always here. Thinking about my family. Where I'm succeeding and where I'm failing.
I guess I didn't really think about how a new baby would throw off my groove. I knew there would be a period of adjustment, but surely it wouldn't be for long. However, I was wrong. It's hard. Harder than I imagined. Finding time for myself was tough before! Now it feels impossible. Particularly as a nursing mother, which I've never really been before (I tried with both, but didn't stick with it long), I feel attached at the hip to my little boy. I adore him with all my heart, and I don't regret choosing to breastfeed, I love it. It just gets exhausting sometimes.
However, in the midst of the chaos, I look around and see my many blessings and remember how quickly this will pass me by. So I'm trying very hard to savor the moments with my family at this stage in our lives. I don't always have dinner ready on time, the household chores may not be done daily, and sometimes I lose my temper, but I hope that my family knows how much I love and cherish them despite my shortcomings.
I saw this on a blog this morning and it is what prompted the above post :)
Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes; we have plenty of food to eat. Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry; we have plenty of good clothes to wear. And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds; they were so warm and comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.
My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered mirrors, soggy, grimy towels, and dirty lavatory; they are so convenient. Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs cleaning inside and out. It has served us faithfully for many years and has enough food in it for several meals. Thank you, Lord for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today. It has baked so many things over the years.
The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing and the lawn that needs raking; we all enjoy the yard. Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming door; my kids are healthy and able to run and play.
Yes, I am definitely blessed.