seriously!?

I can't even stand to look at her right now for fear I might vomit. My baby girl is dipping the remains of her sandwich (just the bread and mayo is left) in a bowl of water from her grapes... and EATING IT!!!! And I mean, she is soaking it for more than a few seconds and then eating it. Oh man, I can't stand it!

I enjoy Friday

Well Mom, I had a pretty nice day today :) Fridays usually are nice. i don't know what it is about Fridays, but I usually feel pretty good in the mornings and since it's library day and grocery day I make myself get dressed and go out which is a good thing. I think I need more to do outside of the house, maybe then I'd feel like this most days. Now that Jenna is home for the summer I really am going to try. I promised her that we'd have a fun summer.

Marah loves library day! She looks forward to it starting on Wednesday and that's when I can start holding it over her head LOL "You'd better stop that or no library." :) yep, that's how I roll.



She's just starting to get into the computer. We don't let her play at home yet for two reasons. One is that we have a weird mouse. It's a gaming mouse and it has extra buttons on it that are a little tough for little hands to maneuver. Two is because our computer is on the fritz and has been for the last few months and so we only let Jenna play on Webkinz since it's the only site we trust not to kill our computer with spyware. Anyway, Marah is learning how to use the computer at the library. today she played a Dora game that I thought would put me to sleep for about 30 minutes.



After the computer we headed over to the puzzles. This is the first time Marah has ever sat to work a puzzle at the library! She's usually too distracted by other things :)



Lastly, while I picked out books for the girls, Marah played on the pirate ship:









Isn't she the cutest? :) After the library we went grocery shopping. I picked up some stuff for the campfire tonight so Jenna was thrilled when she came home and showered me with "I love you mom"s :) LOL She's commenting on them again right now actually. "That's great mom, you bought the chocolates and the marshmallows" See, I'm so cool!

I have a little over an hour to finish all the packing and clean out the car. I'm gonna bring some stuff down to the car but I'm not going to exhaust myself. Eric can get what I'm not up for handling when he gets home.

Today was Jenna's last school day! I cried a little bit when she brought home her stuff today. She had a little note in her backpack from her teacher, and it said "Thank you for being part of my life" and I'm tearing up now over it LOL I don't know why. The end of the year is always very emotional for me. Much more than the start of the year. I think of the relationships she's developed, the teachers who have worked so hard with her all year and how much she loves them. It breaks my heart to have it end. Especially when I don't know who her teacher will be next year. I LOVED her teacher this year. She was awesome! Everyone that was on her team this year was so great. I know she'll be working with some of the same people next year, but Mrs. Carlson... she'll be missed.

Well, I really should go. I have so much to do and very little time left. I really don't want Eric to have to worry about anything when he gets home except maybe carrying a few things down the stairs and tossing them in the car before we roll out. So I'll leave you with this little clip of Marah singing.

sick

I'm just sick. I think I'm getting bronchitis now that my cold has subsided. My lungs ache. I had to get up in the middle of the night to use my inhaler. I don't think it helped. Slept miserably last night. I just want to be in bed but I don't have that option at the moment. I'm just holding on til naptime. Two more hours.I haven't done dishes in two days.

Then I read about this: http://www.comcast.net/articles/music/20080522/Chapman.Daughter/

and it sure does put my problems into perspective. I love Steven Curtis Chapman... and the fact that his daughter was so young, and with a name so similar to my own sweet baby girl's... it just really broke my heart.

It reminds me of how unpredictable life and death are. None of us knows what the day may bring so cherish every moment.

Love to you all

Thankful for Medicaid :)

So Eric picked up his prescription for Humira last night. We knew he was covered by Medicaid for this month so I wasn't concerned about it... and boy am I thankful for that Medicaid! His starter pack which contains 6 injections was $4,675.74 of which we paid a $3.00 co-pay. I could not believe it! I believe that next month he has to take 4 injections and then it will 2 injections each month thereafter. So the price would go down considerably but still not enough for us to be able to afford it. When he got home he picked up the mail and we got a notice stating that we all are still eligible for Medicaid in June so I was very happy and thankful for that.

His doctor has said that he should notice significant improvement in his symptoms within 24 hours of the first injections (he had to do 4 injections today) so hopefully that is the case and tomorrow will be a much better day. He has been pretty miserable. He couldn't make it in to work yesterday. We are really going to be hurting for money now. Rent is due in less than 2 weeks and I honestly don't know how we'll pay it. It's going to be a huge struggle the next few weeks. We always get by with some help from family, but I hate having to rely on other people, it's hard. Things will be so much better when Eric starts to feel like his old self again. I look forward to that. It's hard to see him hurting. It's very hard to see him hurting when I know there is not a thing I can do to help.

Jenna has her end of the year field trip today. She is so excited! They are going bowling and then to the park for a picnic lunch and after that to the local gymnastics club for some... gymnastics I suppose. She has no idea what gymnastics is (and I didn't want to show her a video cause then she would fully expect to be doing back handsprings today and would be upset that they didn't teach her that) but she's excited about it. And she was so cute this morning because I had packed her lunch (she usually gets hot lunch) and she asked me what was in it. So I tell her "There's a sandwich and granola bites and an apple and some cookies and a root beer to drink." Oh man, her eyes got so big! "Root beer!? THANK you mom! I'm gonna make big burps! Like a dog!" LOL I just laughed and then I said "Jenna, don't make big burps at school okay? You can only do that at home." :) Oh my kids!

Last day of school is on Friday. Jenna keeps saying how we're going to have so much fun... I'm like, yeah, it's not gonna be all that much fun. :) I really do plan to try my best to have fun with the girls this summer. I want to take them places... well, cheap places, like the splash park and the nature garden and there are a lot of fun things to do at the library planned for the summer. There is also an art camp this summer that I want to sign Jenna up for cause they offer scholarships and I would love it if she could go to something like that.

Dick and Terri (my in-laws) bought a camper this week and Jenna is so excited! We are planning to go over to their place on Friday night for a little campout and she can't stop talking about it. So she was so cute, making plans :) Funny thing about Jenna, she draws scenarios from TV and movies and she can't escape from that image, in fact she gets very upset if things don't go as expected. She also does this with learning methods which makes it very hard to do homework with her if we don't know exactly how she did something at school, she can't understand that there are different ways of doing things (this makes Eric very upset and I try to explain to him that it's a trait that goes with Autism, but he doesn't believe me and thinks she's just stubborn... which she is, but well, you know what I mean). Anyway, so she has started talking about camping in the camper. First of all, we had to explain to her that we will just be camping at Grandma and Grandpa's house, we're not going anywhere this weekend. She was not thrilled about that but she's dealing with it. Then she starts telling me "We'll tell stories, and play board games, and make food!" And I'm thinking... mmmm.. we will? LOL

So Eric is talking to his mom last night and telling her how excited Jenna is and he starts telling her about what she said and I mentioned in passing "They should get one of those little fire pit thingies you can put on the deck... you could roast marshmallows and hot dogs over that right?" as soon as I said it I realized that Terri would totally want to do that now :) She just does what she can to make these girls happy and sure enough, when Eric mentioned it she started considering it. So I'm sure after that she had a conversation with Dick about it. We'll see what becomes of that this weekend. I'll be sure to take pictures.

So anyway, this is why I didn't show Jenna the gymnastics video. She honestly would believe that she'd be doing all kinds of flips and stuff :) It'll be interesting to hear what she DID do at the gymnastics club when she gets home. Another thing to mention while on the subject of Jenna's insistence on being like the movies, she was very heartbroken this past Thanksgiving when we didn't all sit around the table and carve the turkey in front of the family. I think she cried about it a little. I wasn't there but Terri mentioned it to me. They always just carve the turkey in the kitchen and set all the food on the table, buffet style and everyone goes and eats where ever. Poor Jenna, she was not expecting that at all. So I think we might try something different this year. We'll see.

I must be in a bit of a journaling mood lately! Sorry I don't have pictures to post. I will plan to be better this summer though. Alrighty, I'm gonna go. Have a lovely day!

I want something

I want something to eat, but I can't figure out what I'm craving. Nothing we have in the house, that's for certain. Figures.

My throat doesn't hurt anymore, it's just a bit irritated so that it makes me cough, but no pain when swallowing. Still congested though which is icky. I slept better last night. About the best sleep I've had in a few weeks so that was good. Still woke up really tired this morning though. Oh, it was so hard to get up! Marah came in at 6:50 to get me up, stating that she was cold. 6:50?! Really, as a stay at home mom, I shouldn't have to get up so early! :) I am hoping that now that summer vacation starts on Friday that I will be able to adjust the kids bedtime and waking time. They go to bed pretty regularly at about 8- 8:30 and get up pretty regularly at about 7. So if I work to move bedtime up to 9:30 maybe they'd sleep regularly til 8. That would be nice. Geez, I never thought I would think of sleeping til 8 as a relief! LOL Gone are the days of sleeping til noon everyday during summer vacation and on weekends!

I've watched Flight of the Navigator about 10 times already this week. I watched it on Saturday night with the girls and Marah loved it! She had a bad dream the first night, which I was concerned about cause it is a pretty creepy movie, especially to a 3 year old girl who has no idea what's actually going on, but now she's totally into it. She asks to watch it everyday, twice a day (well, actually more than that but I have to draw a line somewhere). She's watching it right now. So it's a typically cheesy 80's movie but man, I love this movie! I still watch it just thinking how clever it is and there are a lot of little things that they do with the movie that are just so creepy and surreal. Great stuff! I love the parts when they see the blimp at the beginning of the movie and cue in the creepy music so you think it's gonna be a spaceship and when David runs into his house and is scared because his parents aren't there, then he runs upstairs and there's this guy in a smoking jacket with a newspaper in his library which used to be David's room. And when the police find his parents and you start to think everything is okay and normal and then David runs up to them to find that they are now much older looking. Anyway, yeah, I love it. And now my kids love it, which is always cool. They like Goonies too and that makes me proud LOL

Man, my armpits itch. I feel like Eric up in here, scratching my armpits :) Mom should appreciate that one! Maybe it's men's deodorant which I have taken to wearing. I swear, I can't find any women's deodorant that works for me... actually come to think of it this seems like a familiar problem. I think I had this problem when I was pregnant with Marah. I remember it was Tera or Angie recommending I switch to men's formula cause it's stronger. Doesn't smell pretty though. :(

Speaking of Tera and Angie, why don't my Olson family side ever comment on this blog? I know they read. Eric told me yesterday that Abby reads too, which gave me warm fuzzies. So ladies, if you're reading say hi.

Okay, I'm gonna go cause I"m tired of typing and don't really have anything left to say. Have a lovely day :) It looks like a beautiful one here!

Aw... my Marah

I just have been wanting to put together some pictures of the kids as they have aged and post them here. Kinda makes me realize how much my picture taking has tapered off over the last few years. That concerns me, cause Alex is coming soon and I don't want to forget to take pictures of him! I hope that doesn't happen.

Anyway, I'll do Jenna's around her birthday, which is in a month. I don't have time to do it right now cause all the photos of her from birth to age 4 are prints that I would have to first find and then scan. So here's a little Marah cuteness.

September 29, 2004- Her first photo, just minutes old:



Just before leaving the hospital, she looked like a little doll:



First picture of me with my girls:


First Halloween, a month old:


First Christmas, 3 months old (taking pictures for Christmas card, did not realize that Jenna had smudges on her face, typical of me *lol*):


About 3 or 4 months old here and so cute:



Same age, just love this picture of Jenna and Marah:



About 9 or 10 months old here, learning to stand, trying to walk:



One year old:



21 months, cutest baby in a bikini ever:



Second birthday:



Third birthday:


3 1/2:



And it makes me sad to think that the last time my family saw Marah she looked like this (1 1/2 years old):




I could have posted many more, but I got tired. :) I went to bed at 12 last night and finally got comfortable enough to fall asleep sometime around 1. I remember looking at the clock at 12:50 and thinking "Great, now I'm only gonna get 6 hours of sleep" Little did I know that I would be up at 5:30 completely unable to fall back asleep. I would have just laid there, but Eric had to get up an hour early this morning to go to the clinic for some test and I didn't want to keep him awake. I get to take naps, he doesn't. So I got up and went through these pictures for the blog.

Eric is going on some new meds for his Crohn's disease. He went through a bad flare-up a couple of months ago that put us in a real financial bind as he was unable to work. Now that he has this new job, he's started to get sick again. His condition is very sensitive to stress and as this new job has been very stressful for him (and he doesn't deal with stress well at all), he has started to have another flare-up. He missed a day and a half of work last week which will really hurt us. It is times like this that it is hard to understand what God has in mind... why does it always feel like the moment we might get caught up we are hit with something that puts us back at the beginning, in fact, further from where we were before. Bills continue to pile up and we just don't know what to do. It's hard to trust... I'm trying. Again, prayer is very appreciated :)

So this new medication is called Humira. It's insanely expensive. We are covered by Medicaid for this month but after that I believe Eric will be on his own. It's a stupid system our country has. In our state he is unable to qualify for Medicaid if he works more than 120 hours a month, regardless of how much he makes or whether his employer offers health insurance. He has submitted an application with the Humira manufacturer for no cost prescription which we are hoping will be approved. If it isn't... I don't know what we'll do. This is a last resort medication before surgery. Apparently this medication is supposed to reverse some of the effects that Crohn's has on the gastro system. Once he has been on the med for a year, his practitioner will re-evaluate him and probably do surgery. She doesn't want to operate until some of the effects have been reversed, this way the surgery will have a better chance at being sucessful. I am not even sure what would be done with surgery. I believe part of his intestinal tract would be removed. That's really all I know. It's hard to have a clear idea when Eric is the one telling you the details :)

I have a miserable cold. It started on Friday with a sore throat that I had hoped was just a morning reaction to cool air since we had our bedroom window open, however it got progressively worse throughout the day and by Saturday morning was a full on cold with congestion, sneezing, coughing and sore throat. Plus headache... so I'm not feeling the greatest. Story of my life lately though, right?!

Alright, my wrists are starting to hurt so I'm gonna end this here. Have a lovely day :)

Tuesday

I'm being really creative with my blog titles this week :)

I'm doing a bit better today. I managed to get the dishes and some laundry done as well as the main bathroom. I have plans to get some more done later... we'll see how it goes. I need to lay down and when Jenna comes home she has her heart set on putting together a play about princesses, so I think I have to help make props for that. Hopefully God will give me some energy and not another headache.

I need to figure out what is triggering these headaches! I'm starting to suspect dairy but I'm not sure yet. I'm not usually this sensitive to headaches and I hope I'm not going to end up like my poor mom. It definitely worries me. But I have been more sensitive to a lot of things with this pregnancy so I'm going to hope that's all it is and that it will get better after Alex is born.

If we do the play tonight I will take pictures. Which reminds me, I need to charge the camera battery.

Wow, I am falling asleep at the wheel here. I'm gonna get Marah fed and take that nap!

Monday...

I hate mondays. I try to love them cause they are the start of a new week (well, technically Sunday is, but really, Monday is when the week starts I think). They should be about a renewal of sorts. You have a new week to start over and get things done that maybe (probably) you didn't get to last week. Instead it ends up being a day that I just want to do nothing. I don't want to be that way. I try to get things done on Monday but usually I end up not doing much of anything. Maybe I need that. Tuesdays are usually a lot better. I guess it's okay to not do much on Mondays, as long as it's not a trend throughout the entire week.

I'm 22 weeks into this pregnancy now. I took a photo yesterday to document. Well, actually I took a lot of photos but only one that was half decent. And yes, I took it in the bathroom. I need a better photo spot :)



And yes, we chose the name Alexander and I'm very happy about it :) So nice to have a name, though it still feels weird on my tongue! So Alexander Eric Olson it will be.

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I had a nice day. Nothing really spectacular but Jenna was so happy it was Mother's Day and couldn't wait to give me the card she made in school and the flowers she picked out for me. We went out for our nice Mother's Day meal on Saturday evening which was so much better than trying to brave the Sunday afternoon crowds. On Saturday night Eric's parents kept the girls overnight and so we went to see What Happens in Vegas which we both enjoyed. Eric had wanted to see Iron Man, which I DO want to see too, but for some reason wasn't in the mood that night. I know he was bummed but, it was for Mother's Day so I got to choose :) Oh, and I forgot to call my mom... which is so sad. I'm sorry mom. You know how much I love you. I'll call you tonight.

I've been really enjoying the library lately. Marah and I go every Friday morning and it is nice to get out of the house and also to find some new books to read. This past trip I picked up a few photography books as well as The Power of a Praying Wife. I have been meaning/wanting to pick this up for so long but could never find it at the library. I'm so glad I found it when I did. I know this is an important part of my marriage that is missing. So I started reading on Saturday evening and I just love it. I swear every chapter speaks to me, it's as if the author knows my husband... which then makes me wonder if most men are like mine but I only find fault in the man in front of me. That's a hard thing to admit to yourself, even though I have known that it's true. I am realizing that it's important to remember that where my husband struggles, other men do too, and where other men don't have the same issue they may be dealing with the opposite end of that spectrum. It also helps me to see reasons why Eric may struggle with certain things and where I need to admit fault in a situation too. It's easy to forget that NEITHER of us are perfect. As much as I may want to believe that I'm just too awesome to find fault with ;) I know that's not at all true.

Eric is having a hard time at work. I won't go into detail about everything because some things are too personal, but if you would just take a moment to say a prayer for my husband, that he would not get too stressed or feel too overwhelmed, I would be very thankful.

Alright, I'm gonna go... do something I guess :) Have a lovely day.

PS it snowed AGAIN this weekend!